STRAWBERRY YOGURT

1. It was just a normal day at king soopers. I was trying to decide between twinkies or nutty bars. Do I want the creamy white center or the peanut buttery goodness? Suddenly a giant explosion blows off the produce section. Little children cheering happily as the broccoli vanished in flames. Flying carrots came towards me with great speed but luckly I was able to dodge them with my amazing matrix moves. The bad guys were on total conquest to destroy all healthy food. I thought to myself, “No! We’ll get fat and die from obesity!” The bad guys saw me trying to save the WHEAT bread. They ran towards me so I took off. The exit was so close. The children would be able to get there daily carbs. I jumped over the rows of carts. But then the bad guys caught me and threw me into a bag. Man….

Later on they hold me hostage for 1000 dollars towards my family. Then they decide they don’t want money so they go to a public swimming pool and throw me in while threatening everyone to get out. Since I’m tied up and I can’t move or swim I lay there at the bottom of the pool drowning slowly. So they think it’s to cruel and shoot me in the head. Then my body is found later in the play place at chucke cheeses. My funeral is a party and everyone is required to wear orange. Once the party is done, they throw my body over a bridge.
2. Or I could die in a skydiving accident……

I heard the doorbell ring. Doorbell ditchers. During the winter? Well I least I got to see the outside. I haven’t been out of the house for a while. It was cold but I felt a rush of heat on my left side. The beauty sent tickles up and down my body. The two trees stood alone. Silent in the snow… It reminded me of the poem I read a couple of days ago. It made me feel like I could move on. My husband had just died and it gave me a broken heart. How could somebody so healthy one day just fade. All that was left was a pencil with his named engraved on it. Qwert J. Cherri. We were two Cherries. Now he broken off and eaten by death. Death must like Cherries. First my mom, than my dad, than my dog, and now my husband. It all happened so quick. My daugther started to run around the house dragging my baby boy. Time to get over what’s happened and stop it from happening to others I love.

I was running out of breath. I probably shouldn’t have had that big mac for brunch. I saw my post slipping away, so I gave up and I sat there crying. Another F. Another failure, and the guilt of once again disapointing my parents. I would never be like my brother. A+ on every piece of work he had ever gotten. I bet he hasn’t even noticed that I’m no longer sitting by him. He’s too busy reading. I felt my feet throbing as I got up. I had no hope so I kept on walking into a nothing. Suddenly I inhaled the horrid smell of paint. What the heck. I began to gag, but of course I wanted to know where it came from. So I followed the smell. Around the corner I saw the most amazing sight! There were 3 pawns panicing and running all over. It look like they were painting yellow daises, white. How interesting.

Like a freak I walked up to the pawns just as they got into an arguement.

Black Pawn 1: White Pawn! Quit splashing that white paint on me! I don’t want to be like you!

White Pawn: Well if Black Pawn 2 would stop pushing me maybe I would be splashing you!

Black Pawn 2: Oh, so blame it all on me! Maybe if you lose a little wood and stop taking up so much space I wouldn’t be pushing you!

White Pawn: Are you calling me fat?

Black Pawn 2: No I’m saying you have the disorder - Fatergolocally Obesena

White Pawn: You @#$%

I thought to myself, I should probably break this up before there’s shavings all over the grass. I approached and the weirdest thing happened.

“Go somewhere…” was all I got from the invisable/not invisable racoon. That’s helpful. Just then a sign appeared. It said 1 mile to somewhere. I casually walk the trail and then everything went from dark to colorful. Flowers were everywhere and singing. I kept on walking when I found a smoking worm. He was just sitting there like nothing was going on. When I walked up to him he said in a rude voice, “Who are you.” It was so interesting though because all the words he was saying were written in the smoke. Finally gaining my wandering mind back I realized he was sitting there waiting for an answer. ” I said who are you…” I answered with a powerful voice since he was sitting upon a tall mushroom ,” My name is (My name will not be reveled since this is a blog).” “What do you want…” “Please, I need to know where my post is or I’ll get an F. “So you want advice from me…” “yes.” He gave me a glare, then told me to go through the flower field and listen to the flowers. So I walked through and they began to sing golden night. I was having a grand ole time when I saw my post. I was so going to get it this time and for once Mr.Wilkoff would give me an authenticy award. I could see that peanut butter goodness now. I lost sight of my post for a second or two then I hit a fork in the road. Why me. I did my enie menie minie moe and went with the sign that said madder hatter and feburary hare. I walked down the trail when suddenly I felt a warmth fill me with tickles and laughter. I walked on and there I saw a large table with cakes, pie, and of course tea! After seeing all the food I remembered how hungry was. I cautiously walked up to the table and there I saw a strange man wearing a green hat and sipping large amounts of tea and a cute hare. They seemed somewhat drunk. I was frighten to approached but I had to if I was going to get anything to eat. I tried to be as quiet as possible so I wouldn’t seem like I was barging in. I then step on a twig and made a large cracking sound. All the noise stopped and there was complete silence. The short man in the green hat was the first to speak. All he said was hello and would you like a cup of tea? Well, I told myself why not and the hare offered me a seat on this pink fluffy chair. Then poured me a cup of tea splashing it everywhere and sat down and gave me an odd stare. I asked them if something was wrong or if I had cake on my face but he didn’t reply so I started talking. “So is 6 o’ clock your normal tea time?” His face drooped and he simply replied, “It’s always tea time.” “why?” He took a moment to suck it up and spit it out then he finally said, “Well you see I was chosen to sing for the Queen of Chess but got through one verse and she was discusted so she ordered that I’d be executed, but then she thought that punishment would be to cruel so she kindly made it six o’ clock forever.” I took a moment then it all made sense. No wonder the Madder Hatter was so tan, if it was always six o’ clock it would always be light. I felt there pain but I then asked them why didn’t they just leave for the forest or something. They said that the Queen would have them executed.

Our conversation was interrupted when my post walked to the table and the hare seated it. I knew it was my perfect chance but it was on the other side of the table and I didn’t want to be so rude. I could here it saying I’m late! I’m late! A pocket watch suddenly appeared and my post grew arms and legs! It grabbed the pocket watch and was talking about how it was broken. The Feburary Hare took the watch and I started to slowly make my way around the table. The hare started to talk about how it was the best butter in the world and then he rubbed it onto the watch and suprisenly it started to work. I was almost there. I was in my jumping position and I pounced. The post started to run with its new legs and I went chasing after it.